Searching for Paradise
by IHaveYourGoat
Summary: Willow loves Angel, but how can she? He's her best friends boyfriend... -Starts out during the early seasons...- R&R please T, for now. Chapter two up! XD
1. Chapter 1

Searching for Paradise

Hey, I'm Sam! Thanks for clicking the link, hope you enjoy... alright, for starters. I do not Buffy the Vampire Slayer. I write merely for my own amusement, and yours. Anyway, enough of this blah blah-itty. On with the the story!

R&R

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Willow bit the tip of her pencil eraser as she reread the paper before her, pensively. It was late, the others had left hours ago and she still sat in the library surrounded by books and papers. Academic Wizard was she. That was her story, her life.

While Buffy, and even Xander, partied at the Bronx she could be found surfing the web or her nose in a book. It wasn't that she was antisocial, at least, that wasn't the whole reason; in truth, she loved hanging out with her friends. It was just her grades were important and…

Glancing up at the clock, she tapped her now chewed pencil rhythmically against the desk as she pondered on what the others would be up to.

Cordelia, of course, would be as chick as ever, probably wearing some new designer dress. Xander would be drooling over her, while cracking some lame pick up jokes and Buffy would be with…

"Angel." She whispered, and jumped at the sudden noise.

Blushing, she returned to her work and tried to disperse the sudden image of the dark eyed vampire from her mind. Her face flamed even more as she ignored the real reason she was here instead of there.

She was _jealous. _

What kind of friend was she to be jealous of Buffy? She was utterly ashamed, but she couldn't help it. No matter how many times she had encouraged her friend in their relationship, expressed how happy she was for her, no matter how many times she saw the utter perfectness and tenderness between them that screamed 'COUPLE OF THE YEAR'…that little green monster always seemed to raise its nasty head to rage at Buffy.

'I'm a horrible person…' she sulked, slumping over the table, her flamed hair veiling her face. Staring at the paper beneath her, she blinked when she noticed moisture dotting the page. Bewildered, she raised a hand to her cheeks and froze.

She was _crying. _

Shaking her head, she sat up right and scrubbed at her face furiously. This was ridiculous! She had no reason to be weeping like a moony...she had absolutely NO right to Angel…she had NO reason to be shedding tears over him. She didn't know him at all…right?

He hardly ever paid attention to her, only when it came to researching things.

Remembering back to the time at night when he had visited her in her room, she winced when she recalled that she had labeled herself… 'Net Girl.'

Sighing, she began to try to think logically about the situation.

Three reasons why Angel couldn't be hers:

She was underage….even though Buffy was what, only a month older?

He was dead…well, _undead. _But certainly not circulating blood…which brings to mind how he had…y'know. A conundrum…

He wore leather, and that was something she did NOT approve of…even though he looked incredibly sexy in it…in that billowy coat Mystery of the Night way.

She was not Buffy.

Pausing, the last reason echoed through her, tearing open scars that she didn't realize she had until the feelings that poured forth swamped her. Insecurities sprang up, years of being told how hideous and nerdy she was. All the years of Xander not noticing her, even though her every action expressed her affection for him; of being the Homework Helper, and Captain of the Nerd Squad.

Bottom line was, _She wasn't Buffy, _and she never would be. Not even close.

There wasn't anything special about her, nothing that would attract men, especially ones like Angel.

So she should just forget him, because he was way out of her league…

Sighing dejectedly, she stood and gathered all of her papers together.

Biting her lip, she slid them into her bag then slung it over her shoulder. Turning to leave, she stiffened with a yelp.

The very man of her thoughts stood before her, regarding her with a dark, intense stare.

"Angel." She breathed.

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Hope you enjoyed the first chapter, more to come.

Please, let me know what you think; anonymous reviewing has been enabled.

*winks and holds up cookie* Do this and I will give you da cooookie. Oh! The cookies I will give!


	2. Chapter 2

Heres the second chapter, as promised. Oh, and things will speed up soon, promise! :0

I dont own Buffy the Vampire Slayer, I gain nothing from this save my own amusement and hopefully yours. Enjoy!

Thanks for the reviews! :)

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_The man of her thoughts stood before her, regarding her with an intense, dark stare. _

_"Angel" She breathed. _

Her heart literally felt as if it would jump out of her throat at any second and plop down onto the ground between them. In fact, the image of it distracted her for a moment and she didn't realize her face had twisted up with thoughtful horror.

"Willow." He prompted, drawing her out of her daze.

She jerked, and her eyes cleared quickly, widening as she took him in again.

"Angel!"

He nearly rolled his eyes at her antics, but savagely suppressed that action. He was here for a certain reason, and he couldn't let anything such as humor distract him.

"What…what are you doing here, Angel?" Willow looked him over, drinking in the sight of him while trying to be inconspicuous about it. However, with Willow, everything was obvious.

She noticed he was unusually pale … wait, he was always pale, right? Can vampires get paler? Forcing herself to not go off tangent, she focused on him not willing to waste her precious minutes with him.

However, as she absorbed his presence her heart began to beat erratically; for a moment another fantasy brushed her mind as she imagined that he opened his luscious mouth to answer her question with….

"I need you."

Sighing, happily, she smiled in bliss.

"Willow?"

She stiffened when she realized that the words HAD come from the vampire.

"You what?" she squeaked, years of shyness sliding its claws into her and sending her bumping into the table behind her in retreat.

He regarded with a little bit of confusion, his brow furrowed as he tried to make sense of her reaction. Perhaps she had mistook his meaning?

"I don't mean feeding, Willow. I do not feed on human blood." He assured her, his eyes dark with sincerity.

She looked at him, equally bewildered, until she realized that he hadn't meant that he wanted to marry her and take her off towards the sunset on his white steed. Instead he suspected that she was _afraid _of him.

Quite the opposite, actually.

Stammering, she held up her hands gesturing helplessly as she tried to explain herself. "No! I know you didn't mean that…and I know you don't…drink human blood…though technically you do…just donated…not that I mind!...I---" Cutting herself off, she slumped in defeat and slipped off her backpack, letting it drop to the ground with a thud.

Blushing heavily, she forced herself to remember how to breathe.

'In. Out. That's it. You need oxygen. Oxygen is good for you, girl.' She thought, almost hysterically. Great, now he thought her even more a weirdo.

He waited patiently, watching impassively, with his usual brooding face.

"What's the matter, Angel? What do you need me for?" she asked, sweetly, once she regained some semblance of calm; Which wasn't much, because beneath the surface, she was ready to run all the way home and lock herself in her room with her stuffed animals.

"It's Buffy."

'Big surprise,' wincing at the uncharitable thought, she forced herself to push her jealously aside and meet his unfathomable gaze.

"What's wrong with Buffy, Angel? Has something happened?"

He shook his head, and stepped closer.

Immediately, her body flamed with warmth even though he had only taken a few steps and a good amount of distance between them remained. However, she felt as if he were right in front of her, his body flush against hers… the idea made her inhale sharply and another wave of warmth wash over her.

Studying his ivory skin, she idly wondered what it would feel like …

"I need you to help me find out something, Willow."

Fighting to not show the heat that was surely blazing in her eye, she nodded with a gulp. "Yeah, sure, anything, Angel. A new monster? I just installed a program that keeps track of…"

"No, you won't need a computer for this, Willow."

Her mouth went dry when he did close the distance, his palm suddenly resting against her cheek, his thumb gently stroking.

"I love Buffy." He stated, calmly, his liquid onyx pools boring into her widened emeralds that suddenly misted with tears at his words. Blinking them away, she turned her head but he caught her chin, forcing her gently to keep eye contact. "However…Lately, I've been having these dreams…

…Of you." He confessed.

If possible, her eyes widened even more at his admission. "Huh?"

Stepping back, he took back his hand with a look of confusion and sheepishness as he realized that he had touched her in an incredibly familiar fashion.

"You dreamt of me?" she whispered, hardly daring to believe it. Angel…had dreamt of her? She was leaping for joy! She could fly to the heavens if only the guilt that quickly followed didn't weigh her down; Angel, Buffy's boyfriend, had just admitted to liking her. She was now, officially, a home wreaker!

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Is Willow just wrapped in another fantasy or is Angel's meaning something different?

What exactly does Angel want from her? Dum dum dummmm

Review, please. *holds up girl scout* And this pinata shall be yours! Oh, the Pinatas I will give!


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